最近從亞馬遜收了V叔的兩本詩集(剁手
From Coincidence of Momory (2002)和Winter Songs(2010).裡面有不少觸動我的詩歌,當然觸動我的往往是情詩。所以想跟大家分享,特別渣翻了一下…沒有檢查、沒有問別人的意見,加之詩歌,只可意會,所以不得不說翻得太不理想…不能捕獲原作的十分之一。
(其中第一冊的英文大小寫遵循了原書的規則。)
無論如何,希望你們喜歡~
愛我的和愛V叔的,點個贊咯!
(如果心情好 還會再發一些的…不過別信我)
From Coincidence of Memory (2002) by Perceval Press
回憶的偶然
Communion
聖餐
(1999-2002)
1.
We've left shore somehow
Become the friends
Of early theory
Close enough to speak
Desire and pain of absence
Of mistakes we'd make
Given the chance.
我們如何離開了海岸
成為摯友
從最初的理論來看
親密到可以交談
慾望、離別的痛苦
以及我們所犯的錯誤
如有機會的話。
Each smile returned
Makes harder avoiding
Dreams that see us
Lying in early evening
Curtain shadows, skin
Skin safe against skin.
Bloom of compassion
Respect for moments
Eyes lock turns
Forever into one more
Veil that falls away.
若每一個笑容都得到回應
將使避免
那想像我們的夢更為艱難
躺在暮色前
在簾幕的陰影中,皮膚
緊貼著皮膚。
盛放的憐愛
對這瞬間的尊敬
眼神交匯流轉
成為永恆
直到下一曾帷幔墜落。
2.
This after seeing you
Last night, first time
Smelling you with
Permission: shoulders to
Wonder openly at
Carefully kissed
As those arms
Waited impossibly on.
They’ve held me now
And your breath
Down my back
Sent away night air
That had me shaking
In the unlit Anglican
Doorway.
自從昨夜
第一次,見到你
嗅著你,憑藉
你的允許:肩膀
公開驚异於
這些手臂
如何被吻覆蓋
如何被不可思議地招待。
現在他們抱擁過我
而你的呼吸
在我的背脊
驅走夜晚的涼意
讓我從心中戰慄
在那沒有點亮的聖公會的
門畔
3.
Are we ruined for
Finding our faces fit
And want to know more
About morning? Is
Friendship cancelled
If we can’t call
Each other anymore
In amnesia, invite
Ourselves to last glances
Under suspicious clocks
Telling us when we’ve
Had enough?
我們是否註定毀滅
驚覺我們的面容何等相稱
並且奢望至今
陪伴到清晨或者更多?這
友情是否被取消
思量著倘若我們不再能夠
彼此呻唤
在輾轉難眠中,邀請
最終你將眼神交換
看著那滿是懷疑的時鐘
警示我們
所擁有的已是過重
4.
Your steady hands
Cradling my grateful
Skull: were you taking
In my face to
Save an image
You’ve rarely allowed
Yourself after leaving
That cold alcove?
Am I a photograph
You gaze at in
Moments of weakness?
你平穩的手
擁抱我感激
的頭顱:你是否將
我的面容
收藏為一幀畫面
好讓你在離開
冰冷的壁龛以後
偶然允許自己查看?
我是否為你
在脆弱時分
偶然凝視的相片?
You ordered me
Off my knees
Into your arms.
Wasn’t to beg
That I knelt; only
To see you once
From below.
你要求我
站起身
來投奔到你的懷抱安宿
而我屈膝
原不是為了哀訴,而是
願有一次從至低處
仰望你的契機
Tired to say something
That filled my mouth
And longed to rest
In your ear.
Don’t dare write
It down for fear it’ll
Become words, just
Words.
我在試圖吐出詞彙
并讓語言填滿我的雙唇
且期盼他們在你的耳畔
休憩
我不敢提筆
擔心假若書寫
這一切就會變成辭藻,只是
辭藻而已。
Apart
分離
(1999-2000)
You found my keys
On an angels’ hip
Moved half the fallen trees
From the frozen road.
你尋獲了我的鑰匙
在甜酒杯盞上细数
將坠跌的樹
半是拖離冰封的小路
This trip is
All I thought
It would be
And we’re not
Even ½ way yet.
這旅途
是我所盼望
的全部
而我們甚至
還未抵达半途
If I can’t touch you
With snow-hung firs
Our only witnesses
Can’t have your eyes
When everyone’s asleep
Then the fire’s almost out.
如果我不能与你碰觸
以覆满白雪的雲杉
我們唯一的目擊人
如果不能独占你的眉目
當所有人都靜謐入眠
當篝火逐漸熄滅
You ask the un-named
Attraction to leave town
But keep checking
If I’m still around.
你問我那不具名的
遠足的地點
但是不斷檢視
我是否還將在原處
Should we sidestep
Putting fingers to
Words tracing lips that
Would inform us?
我們是否該走到一邊
將手指
放到那傳達彼此語言
的唇邊?
Once said I’d missed
You every instant
Before we’d met.
Now believe we knew
How sad we’d be
Apart.
我曾說我想念你
每分每秒
在我們會面之前
那麼相信我們深知
當離別到來
我們將是何等煩擾。
From Winter Songs (2010) by Perceval Press
冬季的歌
Freedom
自由
It’s not
So you’ll think
Or decide anything
It’s not
So you’ll miss me
Or desire me more
That I ask
If I should be quiet
不是因為
這樣你會思考
或者做任何決定
不是因為
這樣你會思念我
而更需要我
我才提出
我是否該保持沉默的問題
It’s not
To scare you
Or out of rancour
It’s not
Because I changed
Since last night
That I sing you
What I fear
不是因為
我想讓你驚懼
或是出於積怨
不是因為
我變了
才使我在昨夜
唱給你一切
我所畏懼的
It’s not
That I don’t hear you
Or believe in us
It’s not
Because I tire
Or surrender
That I show you
A door
不是因為
我聽不見你的聲音
或是不相信我們
不是因為
我疲累
或者投降
我才給了你
一個出口
It’s not
So you’ll suffer
Or repent
It’s not
So you’ll dream me
Or to ennoble myself
That I dare
Offer a good-bye
不是因為
你會受到折磨
或者感到懊悔
不是因為你會夢見我
不是為了讓我感到自己的高尚
我才膽敢
同你道別
It’s not
You’ll accept and agree
It’s not to lose you
Or let you go
That I give you
What I love
不是因為
你會接受並且同意
不是因為想要失去你
或者放你走
我才給了你
我所愛的一切
That’s Why
這是為什麼
There are days
Hours
Moments in which I surrender
Am exhausted by knowing how little I know
That we’ve chosen to punish ourselves
Days
Hours
Moments that wrench
And distract
Perhaps you also go from weeping
To laughing at yourself
At roadblocks
Stains on your skin
And the long way down
有很多日子
很多小時
很多瞬間我忍不住想要投降
並且被我所知甚少的一切所耗盡
因此我們選擇自我折磨
很多日子
很多小時
很多瞬間悲痛
並且混亂
也許你也曾從落淚
到為自己感到好笑
在路障處
看著自己皮膚上的痕跡
和那無盡的路
Sometimes I unfurl the farewell flag
Look at it
Clean it
Kiss it
Touch my forehead to it
And hang it a while from the balcony
But there are other days
Hours
Moments that float
And allow me to calmly understand
That you exist
我有時忍不住展開那永別的旗幟
望著它
清洗它
親吻它
將我的額頭放在它身上
並且將它懸掛在陽臺上
但是也有很多其他日子
小時
瞬間
輕盈漂浮,讓我明白
你確實存在
Breathe
Sleep
Smile
Dream as I do
Dance
Walk
And that I’m fortunate
To know you a little in this life
Because of those days
So many
Those hours
Precious
Those moments infinite
I keep retiring that flag
Returning it to its hiding place
Carefully folded
That’s why
When parting curtains
To see the horizon
I imagine you living in
And open the window
In case a breeze brings me your scent
I’ve not yet jumped
呼吸
睡眠
微笑
像我一樣做夢
舞蹈
行走
而我何其幸運
在此生竟能對你稍有了解
而正是因為那些日子
那麼多
那些小時
如此珍貴
那些永恆的瞬間
我不斷地收起那旗幟
將它放回原處
小心折叠
這就是為什麼
當帷幕展開
我想像我能看見
你所居住的天際線
而打開窗戶
以防微風帶來一絲你的氣息時
我依然沒有墜落
What’s Said
所說的
I always tell you whatever I’m thinking without considering thedanger. I capsize, fall towards your mouth, live on your permission. Your gazemoors me, comforts me. Thousands of kilometers away I feel you are open,smiling when I describe the things I want to do to you. I see your stretchedneck, injured finger, cracked lips. Want you to see me as I am, confess eachdetail of this hunger, rejoice in our blood, get closer with each drop I spill,that you spill. I say everything, and you listen. I know I may regret it, thatsome kind of harm awaits us, that there is danger. We’re doing fine now, but inessence… yes, there is danger.
我總是會不顧危險、不假思索地告訴你我所想的一切。我傾倒,墜落在你的唇邊,活在你的允許之中。你的眼神讓我停靠,安撫我。在千萬公里以外,我能感受到你的心敞開著,微笑著聽我說我想對你做的一切。我看到你伸展的脖頸、受傷的手指和乾裂的唇。我希望你能看到我真實的樣貌,向你懺悔我對你渴望的細節,我們血液中的欣喜,每一滴我的鮮血都讓我們接近,每一滴你的。我無所不談,而你側耳傾聽。我知道我也許將後悔,也許某種不知名的傷害正等候著我們,那有危險。我們現在都好,但是從本質上…是的,那有危險。
You cleaned the remains of our uprooting on that strange bed ofother dreams quickly and well with a wet cloth, but the water left anotherstain, heart-shaped. Perfect. Remember?
Look, I said.
Yes…
See?
Yes.
What you made!
Yes, yes, my love. I see it.
I’m broken and you begin to realize how little I serve you thisway. But I’m yours. I returned last night to see where we’d lain, and the heartyou unwittingly drew on the light blue coverlet. It had dried, leaving only thepale shadow of your hand.
你用一塊小小的濕布快速而完整地收拾乾淨了我們那張因為各種夢而混亂的床褥,但是水珠留下了一個濕痕,心形的。
簡直完美。你記得嘛?
看,我說。
是的…
你看見了嗎?
你所畫下的!
是的,是的,我的愛。我看見了。
我終於破碎,而你意識到我所能為你做的事情是如此微不足道。但是我是你的。昨夜我回到我們一起躺過的地方,而你不小心在淺藍色床罩下畫下的心。它干了,只有你手掌留下的淺色陰影。
What do I do with this grief, and what do you do with yours? Weare imprisoned and united by the business of our separation. We cannot helpeach other. I’m dragged by exile, injured by the sky. My bones ache fromignoring so much—in silence, in taxis, planes, in the street, alone and byphone when others sometimes call and hang up without daring to mention whatthey’ve already understood. My eyes are grey scars, feeble shadows that have noidea how to illuminate what ails me and where I carelessly put my head.
我該如何面對這樣的痛苦,你該如何面對你的痛苦?我們被我們的分離所囚禁和結合。我們無法互相幫助。我流放自己,被天空傷害。我的骨骼因為我的無視而疼痛─在寂靜中、在出租車上、飛機上、在街上,獨自一人時,或者是在聽到別人偶然打來並且掛掉的電話時,他們不敢提他們已經熟知的一切。我的眼睛是灰色的傷疤、虛弱的陰影,無法告訴我我所受的傷痛,無法教會我怎麼放置我的頭顱。
How do you manage not to call me now? Before, you could neverhelp yourself. Before, you did so constantly and at all hours. It saved me. Isuffered, but knew you were in an exact place. Seated, naked, alone, surroundedby…newpapers and books. You’d tell me how your day had gone, that today.Imagining it filled me, satisfied me for a while, helped me find the ground,sleep, wake up without you, ready fire and water, live. What will I do withoutyour hands? I’ll encounter other breezes, another summer under another sun,while you enter your night. When it’s my turn to see new stars, or the lack ofthem, little by little I’ll get used to it.
你怎麼還沒有給我電話呢?從前,你總是剋制不住自己。從前,你總是無時不刻地撥給我的電話。它們拯救了我。我曾經疲累,但是知道你也跟我一樣。坐著、袒露著身體,一個人,被…報紙和書籍所包圍。你會告訴我你今天過得如何,今天。我想像著這個電話,讓它充滿我的心,讓我得到片刻的滿足,讓我找到支撐點、讓我熟睡、並且在沒有你時獨自醒來、準備爐火和水、活下去。沒有你的雙手我該怎麼辦?我也許會遇見另一陣微風,在另一個豔陽下的另一場夏季,而你將步入夜色。當我看見新的繁星、或是空曠的夜幕,一點點的,我也許會習慣這一切。
Deserve
值得
…I missed seeing the moon
and lost an earring…
…我思念月色
並且遺失了一隻耳環…
I fell
Ask
That you leave
Happy
Will do all
To understand
Your absence
As a test
Proof
Of what’s won
What remains
What I am
Without you
我墜落
要求
你離去
為了理解
你的缺席
不惜一切
似乎想試驗
我所贏得的
所剩餘的
沒有你
我是誰
With this silence
Oblivion
Announces
Its return
Pure
Heavy
Total
I hush
Falter
Breathe
The emptiness
That demands
That takes
My surrender
在這寂靜中
混沌
宣告著
它的歸來
純潔
沉重
完整
我壓低聲線
衰竭
呼吸
那空虛
那要求
並且接受
我投降的空虛
You’ll fly
To another nest
To blood far away
From my mouth
And what I said
To you last night
You were alone
Submerged
In darkness
Answering me
Opening me
Giving youself
Letting yourself be
你將飛向
另一處巢穴
以遠遠離開
我的雙唇
和我所說的話語
你曾是孤身
在黑暗中
沉潛
回答我
將我敞開
給我你的一切
讓你自由
I reject rebirth
Refuse to go on
To forget you
Will bear punishments
My harness
Deserves
Unfazed
Broken
Burn day and night
Tears
Night extinguish
Your light
Nor forgive
Aimlessness
I succumb to
What did I do
To founder
In you?
我拒絕重生
拒絕繼續
以忘卻你
甘願受懲戒
因為我的拙劣
我值得
責無旁貸
只為碎裂
日夜忍受烈焰
而淚水
不能澆熄你的光芒
也不能原諒
我紆尊
至於的虛妄
我所作為何
以能讓你
破滅