青山不薄.

不是个有趣的人。

© 青山不薄.
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Viggo Mortensen的幾首詩

mividaloca:

最近從亞馬遜收了V叔的兩本詩集(剁手


From Coincidence of Momory (2002)和Winter Songs(2010).裡面有不少觸動我的詩歌,當然觸動我的往往是情詩。所以想跟大家分享,特別渣翻了一下…沒有檢查、沒有問別人的意見,加之詩歌,只可意會,所以不得不說翻得太不理想…不能捕獲原作的十分之一。


(其中第一冊的英文大小寫遵循了原書的規則。)


無論如何,希望你們喜歡~


愛我的和愛V叔的,點個贊咯!


(如果心情好 還會再發一些的…不過別信我)








From Coincidence of Memory (2002) by Perceval Press


回憶的偶然




Communion


聖餐


(1999-2002)


1.


We've left shore somehow


Become the friends


Of early theory


Close enough to speak


Desire and pain of absence


Of mistakes we'd make


Given the chance.


我們如何離開了海岸


成為摯友


從最初的理論來看


親密到可以交談


慾望、離別的痛苦


以及我們所犯的錯誤


如有機會的話。


 Each smile returned


Makes harder avoiding


Dreams that see us


Lying in early evening


Curtain shadows, skin


Skin safe against skin.


Bloom of compassion


Respect for moments


Eyes lock turns


Forever into one more


Veil that falls away.


若每一個笑容都得到回應


將使避免


那想像我們的夢更為艱難


躺在暮色前


在簾幕的陰影中,皮膚


緊貼著皮膚。


盛放的憐愛


對這瞬間的尊敬


眼神交匯流轉


成為永恆


直到下一曾帷幔墜落。




2.


This after seeing you


Last night, first time


Smelling you with


Permission: shoulders to


Wonder openly at


Carefully kissed


As those arms


Waited impossibly on.


They’ve held me now


And your breath


Down my back


Sent away night air


That had me shaking


In the unlit Anglican


Doorway.


自從昨夜


第一次,見到你


嗅著你,憑藉


你的允許:肩膀


公開驚异於


這些手臂


如何被吻覆蓋


如何被不可思議地招待。


現在他們抱擁過我


而你的呼吸


在我的背脊


驅走夜晚的涼意


讓我從心中戰慄


在那沒有點亮的聖公會的


門畔


 


3.


Are we ruined for


Finding our faces fit


And want to know more


About morning? Is


Friendship cancelled


If we can’t call


Each other anymore


In amnesia, invite


Ourselves to last glances


Under suspicious clocks


Telling us when we’ve


Had enough?


我們是否註定毀滅


驚覺我們的面容何等相稱


並且奢望至今


陪伴到清晨或者更多?這


友情是否被取消


思量著倘若我們不再能夠


彼此呻唤


在輾轉難眠中,邀請


最終你將眼神交換


看著那滿是懷疑的時鐘


警示我們


所擁有的已是過重


 


4.


Your steady hands


Cradling my grateful


Skull: were you taking


In my face to


Save an image


You’ve rarely allowed


Yourself after leaving


That cold alcove?


Am I a photograph


You gaze at in


Moments of weakness?


 你平穩的手


擁抱我感激


的頭顱:你是否將


我的面容


收藏為一幀畫面


好讓你在離開


冰冷的壁龛以後


偶然允許自己查看?


我是否為你


在脆弱時分


偶然凝視的相片?


You ordered me


Off my knees


Into your arms.


Wasn’t to beg


That I knelt; only


To see you once


From below. 


你要求我


站起身


來投奔到你的懷抱安宿


而我屈膝


原不是為了哀訴,而是


願有一次從至低處


仰望你的契機


Tired to say something


That filled my mouth


And longed to rest


In your ear.


Don’t dare write


It down for fear it’ll


Become words, just


Words.


我在試圖吐出詞彙


并讓語言填滿我的雙唇


且期盼他們在你的耳畔


休憩


我不敢提筆


擔心假若書寫


這一切就會變成辭藻,只是


辭藻而已。




Apart


分離



(1999-2000)



You found my keys


On an angels’ hip


Moved half the fallen trees


From the frozen road.


你尋獲了我的鑰匙


在甜酒杯盞上细数


將坠跌的樹


半是拖離冰封的小路


 


This trip is


All thought


It would be


And we’re not


Even ½ way yet.


這旅途


是我所盼望


的全部


而我們甚至


還未抵达半途


 


If I can’t touch you


With snow-hung firs


Our only witnesses


Can’t have your eyes


When everyone’s asleep


Then the fire’s almost out.


如果我不能与你碰觸


以覆满白雪的雲杉


我們唯一的目擊人


如果不能独占你的眉目


當所有人都靜謐入眠


當篝火逐漸熄滅




You ask the un-named


Attraction to leave town


But keep checking


If I’m still around.


你問我那不具名的


遠足的地點


但是不斷檢視


我是否還將在原處


 


Should we sidestep


Putting fingers to


Words tracing lips that


Would inform us?


我們是否該走到一邊


將手指


放到那傳達彼此語言


的唇邊?


 


Once said I’d missed


You every instant


Before we’d met.


Now believe we knew


How sad we’d be


Apart.


我曾說我想念你


每分每秒


在我們會面之前


那麼相信我們深知


當離別到來


我們將是何等煩擾。




From Winter Songs (2010) by Perceval Press


冬季的歌




Freedom


自由


It’s not


So you’ll think


Or decide anything


It’s not


So you’ll miss me


Or desire me more


That I ask


If I should be quiet


不是因為


這樣你會思考


或者做任何決定


不是因為


這樣你會思念我


而更需要我


我才提出


我是否該保持沉默的問題


 


It’s not


To scare you


Or out of rancour


It’s not


Because I changed


Since last night


That I sing you


What I fear


不是因為


我想讓你驚懼


或是出於積怨


不是因為


我變了


才使我在昨夜


唱給你一切


我所畏懼的


 


It’s not


That I don’t hear you


Or believe in us


It’s not


Because I tire


Or surrender


That I show you


A door


不是因為


我聽不見你的聲音


或是不相信我們


不是因為


我疲累


或者投降


我才給了你


一個出口


 


It’s not


So you’ll suffer


Or repent


It’s not


So you’ll dream me


Or to ennoble myself


That I dare


Offer a good-bye


不是因為


你會受到折磨


或者感到懊悔


不是因為你會夢見我


不是為了讓我感到自己的高尚


我才膽敢


同你道別


 


It’s not


You’ll accept and agree


It’s not to lose you


Or let you go


That I give you


What I love


不是因為


你會接受並且同意


不是因為想要失去你


或者放你走


我才給了你


我所愛的一切


 


That’s Why


這是為什麼


There are days


Hours


Moments in which I surrender


Am exhausted by knowing how little I know


That we’ve chosen to punish ourselves


Days


Hours


Moments that wrench


And distract


Perhaps you also go from weeping


To laughing at yourself


At roadblocks


Stains on your skin


And the long way down


有很多日子


很多小時


很多瞬間我忍不住想要投降


並且被我所知甚少的一切所耗盡


因此我們選擇自我折磨


很多日子


很多小時


很多瞬間悲痛


並且混亂


也許你也曾從落淚


到為自己感到好笑


在路障處


看著自己皮膚上的痕跡


和那無盡的路


 


Sometimes I unfurl the farewell flag


Look at it


Clean it


Kiss it


Touch my forehead to it


And hang it a while from the balcony


But there are other days


Hours


Moments that float


And allow me to calmly understand


That you exist


我有時忍不住展開那永別的旗幟


望著它


清洗它


親吻它


將我的額頭放在它身上


並且將它懸掛在陽臺上


但是也有很多其他日子


小時


瞬間


輕盈漂浮,讓我明白


你確實存在


Breathe


Sleep


Smile


Dream as I do


Dance


Walk


And that I’m fortunate


To know you a little in this life


Because of those days


So many


Those hours


Precious


Those moments infinite


I keep retiring that flag


Returning it to its hiding place


Carefully folded


That’s why


When parting curtains


To see the horizon


I imagine you living in


And open the window


In case a breeze brings me your scent


I’ve not yet jumped


呼吸


睡眠


微笑


像我一樣做夢


舞蹈


行走


而我何其幸運


在此生竟能對你稍有了解


而正是因為那些日子


那麼多


那些小時


如此珍貴


那些永恆的瞬間


我不斷地收起那旗幟


將它放回原處


小心折叠


這就是為什麼


當帷幕展開


我想像我能看見


你所居住的天際線


而打開窗戶


以防微風帶來一絲你的氣息時


我依然沒有墜落





What’s Said


所說的


I always tell you whatever I’m thinking without considering thedanger. I capsize, fall towards your mouth, live on your permission. Your gazemoors me, comforts me. Thousands of kilometers away I feel you are open,smiling when I describe the things I want to do to you. I see your stretchedneck, injured finger, cracked lips. Want you to see me as I am, confess eachdetail of this hunger, rejoice in our blood, get closer with each drop I spill,that you spill. I say everything, and you listen. I know I may regret it, thatsome kind of harm awaits us, that there is danger. We’re doing fine now, but inessence… yes, there is danger.


我總是會不顧危險、不假思索地告訴你我所想的一切。我傾倒,墜落在你的唇邊,活在你的允許之中。你的眼神讓我停靠,安撫我。在千萬公里以外,我能感受到你的心敞開著,微笑著聽我說我想對你做的一切。我看到你伸展的脖頸、受傷的手指和乾裂的唇。我希望你能看到我真實的樣貌,向你懺悔我對你渴望的細節,我們血液中的欣喜,每一滴我的鮮血都讓我們接近,每一滴你的。我無所不談,而你側耳傾聽。我知道我也許將後悔,也許某種不知名的傷害正等候著我們,那有危險。我們現在都好,但是從本質上…是的,那有危險。


 


You cleaned the remains of our uprooting on that strange bed ofother dreams quickly and well with a wet cloth, but the water left anotherstain, heart-shaped. Perfect. Remember?


Look, I said.


Yes…


See?


Yes.


What you made!


Yes, yes, my love. I see it.


I’m broken and you begin to realize how little I serve you thisway. But I’m yours. I returned last night to see where we’d lain, and the heartyou unwittingly drew on the light blue coverlet. It had dried, leaving only thepale shadow of your hand.


你用一塊小小的濕布快速而完整地收拾乾淨了我們那張因為各種夢而混亂的床褥,但是水珠留下了一個濕痕,心形的。


簡直完美。你記得嘛?


看,我說。


是的…


你看見了嗎?


你所畫下的!


是的,是的,我的愛。我看見了。


我終於破碎,而你意識到我所能為你做的事情是如此微不足道。但是我是你的。昨夜我回到我們一起躺過的地方,而你不小心在淺藍色床罩下畫下的心。它干了,只有你手掌留下的淺色陰影。


 


What do I do with this grief, and what do you do with yours? Weare imprisoned and united by the business of our separation. We cannot helpeach other. I’m dragged by exile, injured by the sky. My bones ache fromignoring so much—in silence, in taxis, planes, in the street, alone and byphone when others sometimes call and hang up without daring to mention whatthey’ve already understood. My eyes are grey scars, feeble shadows that have noidea how to illuminate what ails me and where I carelessly put my head.


我該如何面對這樣的痛苦,你該如何面對你的痛苦?我們被我們的分離所囚禁和結合。我們無法互相幫助。我流放自己,被天空傷害。我的骨骼因為我的無視而疼痛─在寂靜中、在出租車上、飛機上、在街上,獨自一人時,或者是在聽到別人偶然打來並且掛掉的電話時,他們不敢提他們已經熟知的一切。我的眼睛是灰色的傷疤、虛弱的陰影,無法告訴我我所受的傷痛,無法教會我怎麼放置我的頭顱。


 


How do you manage not to call me now? Before, you could neverhelp yourself. Before, you did so constantly and at all hours. It saved me. Isuffered, but knew you were in an exact place. Seated, naked, alone, surroundedby…newpapers and books. You’d tell me how your day had gone, that today.Imagining it filled me, satisfied me for a while, helped me find the ground,sleep, wake up without you, ready fire and water, live. What will I do withoutyour hands? I’ll encounter other breezes, another summer under another sun,while you enter your night. When it’s my turn to see new stars, or the lack ofthem, little by little I’ll get used to it.


你怎麼還沒有給我電話呢?從前,你總是剋制不住自己。從前,你總是無時不刻地撥給我的電話。它們拯救了我。我曾經疲累,但是知道你也跟我一樣。坐著、袒露著身體,一個人,被…報紙和書籍所包圍。你會告訴我你今天過得如何,今天。我想像著這個電話,讓它充滿我的心,讓我得到片刻的滿足,讓我找到支撐點、讓我熟睡、並且在沒有你時獨自醒來、準備爐火和水、活下去。沒有你的雙手我該怎麼辦?我也許會遇見另一陣微風,在另一個豔陽下的另一場夏季,而你將步入夜色。當我看見新的繁星、或是空曠的夜幕,一點點的,我也許會習慣這一切。





Deserve


值得


…I missed seeing the moon


and lost an earring…


…我思念月色


並且遺失了一隻耳環…


 


I fell


Ask


That you leave


Happy


Will do all


To understand


Your absence


As a test


Proof


Of what’s won


What remains


What I am


Without you


我墜落


要求


你離去


為了理解


你的缺席


不惜一切


似乎想試驗


我所贏得的


所剩餘的


沒有你


我是誰


 


With this silence


Oblivion


Announces


Its return


Pure


Heavy


Total


I hush


Falter


Breathe


The emptiness


That demands


That takes


My surrender


在這寂靜中


混沌


宣告著


它的歸來


純潔


沉重


完整


我壓低聲線


衰竭


呼吸


那空虛


那要求


並且接受


我投降的空虛


 


You’ll fly


To another nest


To blood far away


From my mouth


And what I said


To you last night


You were alone


Submerged


In darkness


Answering me


Opening me


Giving youself


Letting yourself be


你將飛向


另一處巢穴


以遠遠離開


我的雙唇


和我所說的話語


你曾是孤身


在黑暗中


沉潛


回答我


將我敞開


給我你的一切


讓你自由


 


I reject rebirth


Refuse to go on


To forget you


Will bear punishments


My harness


Deserves


Unfazed


Broken


Burn day and night


Tears


Night extinguish


Your light


Nor forgive


Aimlessness


I succumb to


What did I do


To founder


In you?


我拒絕重生


拒絕繼續


以忘卻你


甘願受懲戒


因為我的拙劣


我值得


責無旁貸


只為碎裂


日夜忍受烈焰


而淚水


不能澆熄你的光芒


也不能原諒


我紆尊


至於的虛妄


我所作為何


以能讓你


破滅











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